If only the world can do this with my views and ideas

TFIOS QUOTE

"And I liked that he had two names. I’ve always liked people with two names, because you get to make up your mind what you call them: Gus or Augustus? Me, I was always just Hazel, univalent Hazel."

Chapter 2.

When reading this part, all that I could think about in my head was "You already have two names silly billy!" Although she wouldn't consider it two names, Augustus in a way gave her something she had always liked about others. Before Augustus came into her life, she was only known as Hazel. Because of his deep adoration of her name and personality, he calls her Hazel Grace. Even when she tried to tell him that her name was just Hazel, he still called her Hazel Grace. Unknowingly Augustus gave Hazel something that she had always liked about other people and I think that that is very sweet. It's like he knows what she wants and he's there to make her happy. 

TFIOS QUOTE

“Some tourists think Amsterdam is a city of sin, but in truth it is a city of freedom. And in freedom, most people find sin.” 

Chapter 11.

Based on my religion and my views, I do not believe that freedom = sin. Sin is an absence of God's  Law in certain aspects of your life while freedom is the ability to choose albeit within God's Law and Man's Law. They both have limits and restrictions. 

What differentiates us from all of other God's creations are that he gave us the ability to make choices. He gave us the choice to either love, obey him and follow his word, or sin and disdain him. 

Freedom is not the cause of sin, for there are many persons who live freely who chose different paths that would not lead to destruction or immoral acts. I believe Amsterdam is a city of sin, not because it originated that way, but persons made choices to live a certain way that conflicts with the ways of God and that is the cause of Amsterdam's image to others. 

TFIOS QUOTE

"I didn’t want to take the elevator because taking the elevator is a Last Days kind of activity at Support Group, so I took the stairs." -Hazel Grace

Chapter 1.  

"It was fourteen steps. I kept thinking about the people behind me—they were mostly adults speaking a variety of languages—and feeling embarrassed or whatever, feeling like a ghost that both comforts and haunts, but finally I made it up, and then I was in an eerily empty room, leaning against the wall, my brain telling my lungs it’s okay it’s okay calm down it’s okay and my lungs telling my brain oh, God, we’re dying here."  

Chapter 12.

"Inside, I contemplated taking the stairs but decided to wait for the ancient creaking elevator."

Chapter 20.


After reading Chapter 20, I remembered what Hazel Grace had said about elevators in Chapter 1 and it made me realise that throughout the book, her illness was becoming worse. During the first chapters, she took the stairs and although there wasn't a complaint made by her, I can imagine that she must have struggled up those stairs especially since she had oxygen tank trailing behind her. The fact that towards the end of the book, she mentions herself too tired to climb stairs and deciding to take the elevator or if she did take the stairs, she felt like she couldn't breathe, it made me realise that she although she never mentions feeling worse, her health is obviously getting worse the fact that she is accepting the fact that she should use the elevator although she considers it's what you do before you die.

TFIOS QUOTE

"Without pain, we couldn't know joy."

Chapter 22.

This isn't exactly a quote from the book said by a character. But this is a quote that was in Gus' house which I loved very much. I also believe that joy cannot exist without pain. For ever difficulty or problem in life, there has always been a corresponding benefit. This quote I can also relate to as that it probably describes my difficulties with moving to Jamaica at first. When I first found out we were moving, I was happy that we were moving, however on my last day in Trinidad, all my friends visited me at the house and then I realised that I did not want to move because I couldn't imagine not being able to see my friends everyday. For a few days in Jamaica, I was very saddened however, when I went on my shadow day to both AISK and Hillel, I made many new friends and now I go to a much better school than my previous one in which I get a better education. So by giving up my live in children, although it was very hard to do, I was able to live a better life here and plus I have more friends. :)
So basically to me, this quote says embrace life and the path chosen for u no matter how difficult it will be first, because at "the end of a storm, there's a golden sky."

TFIOS QUOTE

I almost wanted him to forget I was there, I guess, and I was hoping he didn’t remember that I’d found the boy I love deranged in a wide pool of his own piss. I kept kind of hoping that he’d look over at me and say, “Oh, Hazel Grace. How’d you get here?”
But unfortunately, he remembered. “With each passing minute, I’m developing a deeper appreciation of the word mortified,” he said finally.
“I’ve pissed the bed, Gus, believe me. It’s no big deal.” “You used,” he said, and then took a sharp breath, “to call me Augustus.” 

Chapter 17

My hurt broke for Augustus here. He was always known to Hazel as the strong and healthy one in their relationship, however when his cancer came back and he was becoming weaker, she now saw him as a helpless, weaker guy. Although she loved him a lot, she couldn't help but feel sorry for him. It's as though Augustus was his strong name and Gus was his pathetic little kid name. In some ways I can relate to this. When I visit my brothers in Trinidad, and they introduce me to their friends, they call me 'Ny Ny', because they still see me as that"the little baby that mummy brought home for us" I loathe that name because it makes me feel small even though I'm 16 years old. So, when Augustus said this to Hazel Grace, I understood that he felt small especially after she saw him wet his bed and he knew she couldn't help but call him his pathetic little kid name Gus because he too knew was helpless and weak now compared to when they first met.

TFIOS QUOTE

“Listen, douchepants,” I said, “you’re not going to tell me anything about disease I don’t already know. I need one and only one thing from you before I walk out of your life forever: WHAT HAPPENS TO ANNA’S MOTHER?” 

Chapter 12.

I think Hazel sees a lot of herself in Anna, the main character of Imperial Affliction, especially with cancer being their common bond. When her favourite book finishes mid sentence which suggests to us that Anna dies, Hazel makes it her mission to find the author of the book to find out what becomes of everyone after Anna's death. Hazel not only does this for her love of the book, but also to get a glimpse of how her death will affect others when she's gone. When her favourite author does not want to give her an answer, she loses it and it makes me feel sorry for her. All she is concerned about are the many lives she might ruin because of her illness. By finding out what happens to everyone in Imperial Affliction, especially Anna's mother, it will give her a glimpse as to what the future will hold for all her loved ones after she's gone and she needs to know that they will be okay.

TFIOS QUOTE

"There is only one thing in this world shittier than biting it from cancer when you're sixteen and that's having a kid who bites it from cancer."

Chapter 1.

This line perfectly illuminates the crappiness of many cancer patients' circumstances. Not only do kids like Hazel get angry about having cancer but they also cannot bear the thought of how their cancer affects their family and loved ones. 

Although Hazel gets easily annoyed by her overprotective parents, her main concern isn't dying but what will be the outcome of her parents after she dies.  This is why she is very distant with them in the beginning. She believes not being close with them will help ease their pain when she dies. Hazel considers herself a grenade waiting to explode and is constantly trying to avoiding hurting others. By staying mostly to herself and not building a relationship with her parents, she believes she's doing what's best as she feels as though she is minimising the collateral damages she will cause after her death. What she doesn't realise is that what she's trying to overcome is impossible. She can't stop herself from hurting everyone. In my opinion, Hazel should not build a wall between herself and anyone who is willing to care for her and spend time with her before she passes away. I'm sure she will be happier than how she feels now. 

TFIOS QUOTE

"You're a hard person to comfort," Augustus said.

"Easy comfort isn't comforting," I said. "You were a rare and fragile flower once. You remember." 

Chapter 10.

 FINALLY SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS!

Normally easy comforting isn't what people want although we think we do. We believe that a few nice words from someone else can make us feel better. However I do not believe this is true. Are these comforting words really a consolation for the grief, pain, anger or anxiety that we feel after experiencing something? I believe people still are affected but they try to ignore it and move on after hearing a few words to help brighten the situation. 

Hazel Grace, you are my hero. I could not have said it better myself. This "easy comforting" is basically a deceptive outward appearance. It is fake. No one after an event feels fully better no matter how much comforting they receive. 

TFIOS QUOTE

Chapter 1
Page 20.

I loved this quote.

Augustus Water associates this metaphor of the unlit cigarette with his life as a cancer patient. Like the cigarette, he doesn't give his cancer the ability to take control of his life and health. He is determined to leave a mark on the world before he dies and as a result, he tries his best to not let cancer get in the way of doing so. Throughout the book, not once has Augustus ever complained about his cancer or amputee or acted as though it was ruining his life. Instead, he just continued to enjoy the life he had on this earth with the people he loved.

THE FAULT IN OUR STARS

After months of recommendations to read this book, I finally gave in to the "hype" and decided to give it a try.

This book was simple; simply beautiful, simply devastating.

The story is about a sixteen year old cancer patient named Hazel who attends a support group. At this support group she subsequently meets and falls in love with a sixteen year old guy named Augustus Waters, an ex-basketball player, amputee and a cancer-survivor.

What I thought was beautiful about this novel for young adults was that it wasn't the typical love story of a boy and a girl who fall in love and lived happily ever after. It gave us insight to what some cancer patients go through everyday and what could possibly be their look on life.

Through these two lovebirds we see despite what fate plans for us in the future, we shouldn't live worrying all the time but basically live like it's your last day. You.Only.Live.Once (ugh, hate that motto but it was a perfect opportunity to use it. bleh.)

For the next few posts, I will be taking quotes from the book and writing my interpretation of it.

New Beginnings.

"I am a reader, not a writer." 

I'm also an over-thinker. (Just putting that out there if you ever come across a post I do which you may think is overly detailed and thought out precisely)

My sole purpose of this blog is to write my thoughts which may seem senseless to most people. I have a tendency to over-think and view ideas and notions differently from others. 

I am inclined to think faster than I write, which may confuse readers; But do note that it will not confuse me which is my sole purpose for my blog. To cater to myself. Yes I am very possessive. 

However, I will not cease others from reading my blog and if you would like to share your thoughts with me, feel free to do so. I will gladly take any comments I receive and take the time to read and reply as often as my time allows me to do so. 

I am not the world's best writer. Heck, I'm not even a good writer. Consequently, my blog will not be as profound and clearly written like many blogs. However, I hope to give myself and readers something to make up for that: an insightful analysis on whatever comes my way and fascinates me.