I almost wanted him to forget I was there, I guess, and I was hoping he didn’t remember that I’d found the boy I love deranged in a wide pool of his own piss. I kept kind of hoping that he’d look over at me and say, “Oh, Hazel Grace. How’d you get here?”
But unfortunately, he remembered. “With each passing minute, I’m developing a deeper appreciation of the word mortified,” he said finally.
“I’ve pissed the bed, Gus, believe me. It’s no big deal.” “You used,” he said, and then took a sharp breath, “to call me Augustus.”
Chapter 17
My hurt broke for Augustus here. He was always known to Hazel as the strong and healthy one in their relationship, however when his cancer came back and he was becoming weaker, she now saw him as a helpless, weaker guy. Although she loved him a lot, she couldn't help but feel sorry for him. It's as though Augustus was his strong name and Gus was his pathetic little kid name. In some ways I can relate to this. When I visit my brothers in Trinidad, and they introduce me to their friends, they call me 'Ny Ny', because they still see me as that"the little baby that mummy brought home for us" I loathe that name because it makes me feel small even though I'm 16 years old. So, when Augustus said this to Hazel Grace, I understood that he felt small especially after she saw him wet his bed and he knew she couldn't help but call him his pathetic little kid name Gus because he too knew was helpless and weak now compared to when they first met.
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